The Space Between

May 22, 2025

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“Music is the space between the notes.” (Claude Debussy)


Orbeez, Oh Boys

This morning, my ten and twelve-year-old boys were at the kitchen island, their school bags and snacks yet unpacked as I glanced at the clock. Instead of preparing for school, their hands were submerged in a bin of water filled with vibrant, rainbow-colored Orbeez balls.

I felt a familiar internal conflict. One part of me, the guardian of the morning schedule, felt a surge of frustration. But the other part, the advocate for play and curiosity, won the internal toss-up that day.

They invited me to join their tactile exploration, and I smiled as my hands moved through the cool, gelatinous sea of beads. Once my hands were immersed, I understood their delayed start to the school routine. My son Rohin then proposed a playful challenge: “Mom, see if you can find a clear Orbeez ball. It’s invisible, but you can find it by looking for the space between the colorful balls.” Softening my gaze at the bin of vibrant orbs, I trusted my intuition and submerged my hand. I was delighted when it emerged, cradling a small, clear sphere. This simple act felt profound; I had discovered a treasure by simply paying attention to the space between.

Cellular Space

Sometimes, the universe seems particularly playful. When a metaphorical theme captures my attention, it’s inspiring to witness how the message manifests in different places, with different people, and in various moments. Just an hour after the Orbeez-filled morning, I found myself at a craniosacral appointment. As my friend and craniosacral therapist, Maura, worked with me, she shared an intuitive thought. “Many people don’t consider this,” she said, “but there is space between all of our cells. We often focus intently on what’s wrong with a specific area of the body. However, I have a feeling it would be beneficial for you to spend some time tuning into the space between your body’s cells. This intercellular space is where our potential resides, much like the space between the notes in music.”

Lying on the table, trusting her gentle adjustments and energy work, I was deeply moved by her words. They resonated profoundly. I began to visualize the inner cellular space within my body. A sense of softening washed over me as my jaw unclenched and my neck muscles relaxed. There was something significant about consciously engaging with this intercellular space (which, I learned, is an actual scientific term!). I felt more spacious mentally and emotionally, and a quiet calm descended.

The Space Between Notes

As a musician, my earliest memories of learning an instrument revolve around understanding how to count the silent beats between the notes. Without this space, music would devolve into a jumbled, indistinguishable noise. Initially, I relied on a metronome or the insistent tapping of my foot to keep track of these silent intervals. But with practice, the space between the notes became intrinsic to me, the instrument, and the musical piece itself.

As I write this, the acoustic cover of “Blank Space” by Megan Davies & Jaclyn Davies has just started playing in the background. I can’t help but laugh at the perfect timing of this song title in relation to our theme.

I first encountered composer John Cage’s famous “4’33” piece in high school band, many years ago. Our music teacher introduced it without any preamble. We sat in near-complete silence for four minutes and thirty-three seconds, waiting for the music to begin. It never did. Cage’s piece gained notoriety precisely because it is a meditation on silence and the space between sounds. However, it isn’t truly about the absence of sound. In fact, within the noteless high school music room, subtle sounds that are usually overlooked began to fill the void: the rustle of clothing against chairs, a soft clearing of a throat, the chirping of birds outside the window.

Complex Times & the Importance of Space

What does “the space between” have to do with anything? I believe it has something to do with everything, especially now, during this pivotal time in our society. Space, particularly mental space, has become an increasingly rare commodity as our lives grow more complex and noisy. The constant barrage of dings, notifications, text messages, and emails all vie for our attention. Many of us rush from one scheduled appointment or meeting to the next – work obligations, errands, children’s activities, and other commitments. Even the routines that support and nourish us require space in the form of dedicated time and energy.

When we factor in social media, our inner lives can feel even more fragmented. We might pick up our phones with a specific purpose, only to realize that an hour or more has vanished without our conscious awareness. This cumulative time spent scrolling rarely rejuvenates us and more often leaves us feeling depleted.

Here are some creative ideas for incorporating space into your day and week:

  • Schedule “Nothing Time”: Choose one or more times each week (even if it’s just for 20 minutes or an hour) to schedule absolutely nothing. Treat this time as sacred, as important as a meeting with the CEO. Block it off in your calendar with a fun name like “Inner Space Meeting” and resist the urge to fill it. Use this time to simply be. You might observe a sunbeam, meditate, engage in a small creative activity, or take a slow, uninterrupted walk. Regardless of how packed your schedule is, I believe we can all carve out at least 20 minutes a day or week for this experiment. If you’re struggling to find the time, consider where you might be spending time on activities that drain you (like mindless phone scrolling).

  • Declutter: Countless articles and resources address the topic of decluttering, and I am certainly not an expert. However, I know that simplifying my physical environment, even by clearing off a shelf, brings a sense of calm and renewed energy. Decluttering can also become a meditative practice. Before you begin, set an intention, such as “as I clear physical clutter, I release emotional clutter too.” If you have children, involve them in the process. For items that are no longer needed and are suitable for donation, choose an organization beforehand and deliver them promptly to prevent them from re-entering your home.

  • Embrace Silence: The other day, I was in my studio listening to a podcast while painting. I realized that I almost always have a podcast or music playing in the background while working on art, other tasks, or household chores. While I adore music and podcasts, I sometimes find myself over consuming both, especially podcasts. They offer new ideas and perspectives but can also distract us from our inner experiences, similar to television or video games. Constantly hearing others’ thoughts and opinions can become a form of overstimulation and distraction when excessive. When I paused the podcast, I admit I immediately missed the familiar voices. But I stayed with the quiet discomfort. I opened the studio window and began to notice the sounds outside: birdsong, passing cars, overhead airplanes, and the rustling of leaves in the wind. Painting without the podcast or even music heightened my senses. I noticed the feel of the paintbrush in my hand, the texture of the paper, and the way the color spread across the canvas.

  • Single Tasking is the New Multitasking: Did you know that multitasking is largely a myth? When we say we are multitasking, we are actually just rapidly switching between multiple tasks. “Switch Tasking” would be a more accurate term. While we can often perform automatic tasks simultaneously (like walking and chewing gum), engaging in complex activities simultaneously divides our attention. Trying to listen in a meeting, check emails, and scroll through Instagram simultaneously means your mind cannot be fully present in any of those activities. This attempt at multitasking can lead to errors, poor concentration, and increased stress. The alternative? Intentional single-tasking. When writing an email, try to be fully present in the act. Feel your fingertips on the keys, notice the satisfying clicking sounds, and appreciate the way sentences form and appear on the screen. Engaging your five senses in any task can enhance your presence and focus, making the experience more enjoyable.

The Aesthetic of Space in Art

In art and other visual mediums, negative space, sometimes called white space, refers to the empty areas surrounding the main objects or focal points within a composition. You might recall drawing exercises where instructors emphasized paying close attention to negative space as a technique for creating dynamic artwork. Similarly, in Japanese art and aesthetics, the concept of ma describes the intentional empty space around an object or objects. Imagine a Japanese brush painting depicting the tips of single-stroke trees enveloped by an implied fog – a soft white space. In such pieces, it is the very absence of brushwork that imbues the actual strokes with energy and life.

In my own artistic journey, I have often struggled with leaving visual space untouched, gravitating towards filling the entire surface of a canvas or paper. While this maximalist approach is sometimes part of my aesthetic, there are other times when I wish I had allowed for more “breathing room” within a piece. One of my ongoing challenges as an artist is discerning when a work is truly complete. The temptation to add just one more element, one more layer, often arises when a piece feels close to its final form.

Lately, I’ve found myself increasingly inspired by artists who deliberately incorporate space and untouched areas into their work. I’ve always been particularly drawn to sumi-e, Japanese brush painting, which beautifully connects the artist’s breath and energy to each brushstroke while intentionally cultivating the white space around it. In my studio, I’ve been experimenting with slowing down my painting process, pausing in the spaces between strokes to thoughtfully consider whether the artwork truly needs more or less.

Soulful Simplicity

A few weeks ago, I attended a Soul Collage Workshop for the first time and was immediately captivated! Initially, I found it challenging to select specific photo images from the array of colors, textures, patterns, and evocative imagery. However, as soft music filled the room, I began to gather the images that sparked the most excitement: a snapshot of colorful fish moving through an aquarium, a mountain climber clinging to the edge of a cliff, a little boy with an elaborate hat blowing bubbles.

Typically, when working with collage (or any art material), I lean towards maximalism – the idea that “more is more.” However, on that day, the concept of “less is more” intrigued me. I challenged myself to use no more than three magazine images per Soul Collage card. This deliberate simplification in the process compelled me to be highly intentional about which images to include and how to arrange them to create a cohesive whole. I noticed that I was leaving more visual space between each image. This allowance of space fostered a unique synergy and dynamic interplay between the two or three visual elements. Each time the final image fell into place, I experienced an internal sense of completion for that individual card. The space between each visual element created a dynamic visual interplay that amplified the power of each image.

Art Therapy Space

At the beginning of almost every art therapy group, especially when new members are present, I share a brief introduction. One key message I convey is, “This is your time and your space to pause, to take time just for you to get curious and reconnect.” The theme of the space between is particularly relevant to art therapy work because the group (or individual session) truly provides an intentional sanctuary within the often-frenetic lives of my clients. To further cultivate this therapeutic space, I ask clients to turn off or silence their cell phones, take a few grounding breaths, feel their feet on the floor, and set an intention for our time together. These small prompts are vital for supporting the group’s sustained attention and presence.

Over the past fifteen years, I’ve led groups in countless locations: next to noisy boilers in shelter basements, in crowded lobbies, in a bustling children’s hospital room, at bedside, on picnic tables in urban gardens, in classrooms, and even over Zoom. While the physical spaces have varied greatly, the importance of creating psychological and emotional space remains constant.

Many of us find it increasingly difficult to find the space between the demands of daily life. So, here’s a simple suggestion before beginning an art therapy session: simply state your intention aloud. Yesterday, before an art therapy group, I asked everyone to pause before engaging with the art materials. I invited each person to share what they hoped to gain from our hour and a half together. While each response was worded uniquely, a common theme emerged: a desire to pause, to find community and connection, to deliberately slow down and prioritize the space between their stressful appointments and schedules. The fundamental need to be with others, to be seen, and to be heard permeated the entire room. As we began exploring the art materials on the table, I noticed the shift almost immediately. Shoulders relaxed, deeper breathing became audible, and genuine smiles spread around the table. All of us finding rest in the space between.


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